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Me Musings

A New Year

This blog hasn’t been updated in a while. Cold has been affecting me pretty strongly, and I’ve been getting the Hermit card quite a bit. But perhaps it’s time to ramble about some things again.

I hope to channel my energy this coming year into more things. I see so much to be done, and it’s so hard to do something about it. And yet, this year has also showed me that if I put my energy into the world, changes happen.

I hope to build more bridges. Despite my outgoing nature, I’m still slow to trust and can be judgemental. I’d love to work past that, to truly take everyone at face value. It’s better to be disappointed than to let your trauma color people.

I hope to heal. This year I’ve made some radical steps towards grappling with my mental illness, understanding parts about myself and finding ways to be more comfortable in my skin. I don’t think 2020 will bring radical change, but I hope another year will heal more wounds.

I hope to be more me. I’ve only this year really started to figure out who I am. It’s strange to think almost exactly a year ago I chose the name Echo, and now most of my friends don’t even know my birth name. My life is strange and wonderful, and has opened up such amazing roads even as the path becomes harder to navigate. I trust I will continue to move onwards, and perhaps find ways to be even more extra.

This isn’t a space for resolutions. I don’t pretend to know what’s coming, and I don’t believe I will have the capacity to do everything. I hope for so, so much. But the one resolution I will make here:

I resolve to forgive myself if I cannot reach my dreams.